One week until Christmas

The women at the receptionist desk at Lacks Center appear to really love Christmas.  All were decked with boughs of holly and every other imaginable holiday glitz.

Today was my the review of my one month liver ablation scan with Dr. Pimiento's awesome physician's assistant, Abby. I think I may have mentioned before how much more information you get from a P.A. than you do from a doctor. They seem to have time and interest to talk about any issues or questions you may have.

Abby said that Dr. Pimiento was pleased with the scan results.  They seemed to accurately reflect his experience in the operating room.  There was one margin that was less than conclusive but it appeared that the ablation did what it was supposed to do.  That is all one could expect from a one month scan. A 3-month scan would tell a little more.  Abby powered on a CT scan viewer and pulled up my record to show me first hand.  But for some reason, we could not see the affected area standing out from the layers of liver slices. She decided to see if she could grab Dr. Pimiento, adding, "He is really good at reading scans; really as good as a radioligist. He's quite amazing."  This made me feel good. I like unsolicited praise regarding the people who treat me in such an intimate way that I barely know.

Shortly, Dr. Pimiento came in and I was reminded about how much I like him.  He has great bedside manner.  He remembered a few details about my personal life like my job and family giving me great, friendly eye contact.  As advertised, he handled the scan viewer software like a boss, switched to a different setting and pulled up "before" and "after" scans side by side.  The "after" scan clearly showed a shadow created by the necrosis of the ablation.  He showed me the questionable edge which could be explained by the presence of an artery.  Rather than a perfect orb, there was a little pucker on one side. The ablation shadow appeared to contain the space formerly occupied by the tumor.

"I think we really burned the hell out of that tumor", he added proudly.  I detected a little gasp from Abby at his salty language but I really appreciated how accurately he reflected my attitude on the matter.  "If we discover that there is still a little bit of it there after the 3-month scan, we can do the procedure again, or perhaps try isolated radiation, as long as the cancer does not turn up anywhere else."

Feeling healthy and robust, it is difficult to embrace any "what if" scenario.  It is easy to see myself as once again miraculously being cured of a fatal disease.  Maybe it is short term, but all these short terms add up to a long term.  I feel so lucky. I am continually aware of others who have been less lucky with their encounters with cancer.  My friend, Sister Jude Bloch succumbed last month. I had run into her a few times at Lacks and she always displayed a great attitude. I feel waves of sadness and small pangs of survivor's guilt.  I can only see Jude with a big smile and jolly disposition in my mind's eye.

I know that three months will whiz by quickly. Christmas, New Year's Day, Valentine's Day, Presidents' Day and ML King Day will help measure the time.  I've got a lot of life to squeeze in. It's all good.

On the way out of the office I learned that today was "wear a gaudy Christmas sweater to work day", which explained the over-the-top holiday clothing expressions in the office.  I should have guessed.