My habit every morning for the last month has been to prepare bag lunches for the ladies of my house and then make myself a half cup of black coffee with a tiny sprinkle of sugar and head out to feed the fish in the pond. I sip coffee and stand motionless waiting for the goldfish to notice the food scattered on the surface and come up from their hiding places in the murky water beneath the lily pads to snatch the tidbits. It usually takes a couple of minutes before I see the first one break the surface and then disappear again. By the time my coffee is gone, I typically see evidence of one to four lively fishies. But this past week there has been no activity whatsoever. I'm not sure if it is the seasonal cold that keeps them in hiding or whether perhaps raccoons have been using the pond as a place to hunt for food. There is some evidence of four-legged disturbance: floating plants chewed up and dragged on shore and the pot that holds the lily pads in the middle of the pond was knocked over on its side. But I'm still holding out hope for the fish that their cold-blooded bodies are content to process summer feeding in the deepest part of the pond. An air bubbler will ensure that ice will not cover the entire pond and that I'll discover an active bunch in the spring. Still I would like to see some evidence that a daily feeding is still required. I like the ritual and will try to maintain it as long as weather permits.
Another ritual that seems to have morphed is my chemo schedule. I still come in every two weeks for an infusion but it is now standard that my platelet count is too low for treatment and it is bumped a week. After the third week it is still low but evidently close enough to the borderline to move forward. So this drags out the total course of 12 infusions. I only have two left of the twelve but that will likely take 6 weeks to get through. I'm confident that it is working and am grateful to have medicine that does what it is supposed to do. It will be nice to have it be over. But who knows what will be on the other side? I have not yet seen my doctor a second time to ask these questions.
In the meantime, September an October will include some travel. I plan on visiting my daughters in their respective cities. I will be driving to Ithaca, New York at the end of September for Abby's 21st birthday and Mary and I will fly out to Los Angeles to visit Alice the second week of October. Towards the end of that month we will be heading to Chicago for the wedding of Mary's brother, Guy to his partner, Rich.
We had mentioned to Marlee that after she got a job we would help her get a car. So now she works for SaladWorks downtown and drives there in a 2003 Ford Focus. It was a Craig's List gamble and so far it was a bad gamble. We've had to put in over $1000 in repairs and there could be more to come. I'm reminded of the burden of ownership on a kid (not to mention the parents) and also the sense of freedom that comes with having car that you do not have to share with anyone. It is a new era.
I welcome the cooler days and I know the bone-chilling days are soon to follow. Before you know it, it will be excitement of spring, with the promise of new green and days of short-sleeved shirts and bare feet.
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